Discworld
Quotes
On curry:
Death leaned over the saddle and looked down at the kingdoms of the world. I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, he said, BUT I COULD MURDER A CURRY.
On democracy:
Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.
On education:
She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.
On efficiency:
The fastest way to travel is to be there already.
On expression:
Vorbis sat back, his expression unchanged. His expression seldom changed unless he wanted it to.
On fate:
TO CHANGE THE FATE OF ONE INDIVIDUAL IS TO CHANGE THE WORLD.
On hierarchy:
They weren’t that important. They were merely at the top. The people who really run organisations are usually found several levels down, where it’s still possible to get things done.
On horses:
Most horses don’t walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can’t see doesn’t exist.
On infinity:
That’s how we survive infinity — we kill it by breaking it up into small bits.
On life and death:
The trouble with life was that you didn’t get a chance to practice before doing it for real.
The moments that change your life are the ones that happen suddenly, like the one where you die.
On obedience:
Brutha obeyed immediately. Brutha did not know the meaning of the word disobedience. It was only one of a large number of words he didn’t know the meaning of.
On perspective:
From a tortoise-eye viewpoint even the most handsome human is only a pair of feet, a distant pointy head and, somewhere up there, the wrong end of a pair of nostrils.
On piety:
People needed to believe in gods, if only because it was so hard to believe in people.
On probability:
Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.
On rain:
It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country’s main export. It had rain mines.
On speechlessness:
‘Do you have a tongue, boy?’
Brutha nodded. And then, feeling that perhaps this wasn’t enough, presented it for inspection.
On swearing:
“Well, –––– me,” he said. “A ––––ing wizard. I hate ––––ing wizards!”
“You shouldn’t –––– them, then,” muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.
